Give Up on Being Perfect and Take Hold Of Being Yourself

This is the message from Anna Quindlen's commencement speech on May 23,1999. Most commencement speech is about taking great challenge for the future and Anna simply says that being yourself is the best way to cope up with those challenges.

This is from mytholyoke.edu, the whole message is in that site.

"Let me be very clear what I mean by that. I mean that I got up every day and tried to be perfect in every possible way. If there was a test to be had, I had studied for it; if there was a paper to be written, it was done. I smiled at everyone in the dorm hallways, because it was important to be friendly, and I made fun of them behind their backs because it was important to be witty. And I worked as a residence counselor and sat on housing council. If anyone had ever stopped and asked me why I did those things--well, I'm not sure what I would have said. But I can tell you, today, that I did them to be perfect, in every possible way.


Being perfect was hard work, and the hell of it was, the rules of it changed. So that while I arrived at college in 1970 with a trunk full of perfect pleated kilts and perfect monogrammed sweaters, by Christmas vacation I had another perfect uniform: overalls, turtlenecks, Doc Martens, and the perfect New York City Barnard College affect--part hyperintellectual, part ennui. This was very hard work indeed. I had read neither Sartre nor Sappho, and the closest I ever came to being bored and above it all was falling asleep. Finally, it was harder to become perfect because I realized, at Barnard, that I was not the smartest girl in the world. Eventually being perfect day after day, year after year, became like always carrying a backpack filled with bricks on my back. And oh, how I secretly longed to lay my burden down.

So what I want to say to you today is this: if this sounds, in any way, familiar to you, if you have been trying to be perfect in one way or another, too, then make today, when for a moment there are no more grades to be gotten, classmates to be met, terrain to be scouted, positioning to be arranged--make today the day to put down the backpack. Trying to be perfect may be sort of inevitable for people like us, who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and in its good opinion. But at one level it's too hard, and at another, it's too cheap and easy. Because it really requires you mainly to read the zeitgeist of wherever and whenever you happen to be, and to assume the masks necessary to be the best of whatever the zeitgeist dictates or requires. Those requirements shapeshift, sure, but when you're clever you can read them and do the imitation required.

But nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great ever came out of imitations. The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

This is more difficult, because there is no zeitgeist to read, no template to follow, no mask to wear. Set aside what your friends expect, what your parents demand, what your acquaintances require. Set aside the messages this culture sends, through its advertising, its entertainment, its disdain and its disapproval, about how you should behave.

Set aside the old traditional notion of female as nurturer and male as leader; set aside, too, the new traditional notions of female as superwoman and male as oppressor. Begin with that most terrifying of all things, a clean slate. Then look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: for me, for me. Because they are who and what I am, and mean to be.

This is the hard work of your life in the world, to make it all up as you go along, to acknowledge the introvert, the clown, the artist, the reserved, the distraught, the goofball, the thinker. You will have to bend all your will not to march to the music that all of those great "theys" out there pipe on their flutes. They want you to go to professional school, to wear khakis, to pierce your navel, to bare your soul. These are the fashionable ways. The music is tinny, if you listen close enough. Look inside. That way lies dancing to the melodies spun out by your own heart. This is a symphony. All the rest are jingles....."

To read the manuscript of the whole speech, click here

The Don't You Quit Poem

It's been a week again since my last post. My sister was busy doing her homework, using the laptop so I've been idle again in the net. I'm not regretting this, in fact I'm happy to see them doing their responsibilities. When you become successful in internet marketing, you're problem would be "what can I do during my spare time", I have some but my goal is too have enough to enjoy my life and do the things that really matters to me, to be with people that really matters to me.

Since yesterday from work, I go directly not to my house but to my Lola's(grandmother) to have some time, just to say hello, say goodbye because tomorrow she will go back to America for some personal reasons, too personal that I was not able to share to you as of now.

So I'm typing in my Lola's house after I've just opened my email. One of the emails is from my subscription to lifemastersnow.com. About this poem entitled "Don't Quit", from the title itself you can say what this poem is all about----to never quit. Here's it is:

Don't Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must; but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow;
You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit;
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

To add more meaning to the poem, here's a video:



P.S. I learned about the video and the poem from http://www.lifemasternow.com/life-master-legacy, if you want 5 free e-books about SUCCESS Secrets go that site and subscribe.

A Camel Story

I worked from 6:30 in the evening 'til 6:30 in the morning. You see I worked in a graveyard shift just like those who work in call centers, hospitals, or like a security guard who ensures the safety of your house or your business while you sleep.

Anyway, while I'm in this moment where my mind was almost blanked while I'm working because I don't need to think so much because I done this job (a manufacturing job) for more than a year.During that moment, I choose to go to a computer and stumble upon this PowerPoint presentation. It's a simple and short presentation but after I read it, this made me think because this presentation hit me with a bang.

But instead of PowerPoint presentation, I made a slideshow so you can read it easily, no need to download but you can download it if you still want to through SlideShare.com. Hope you will be inspired by this.

A Camel Story

View more presentations from Michael Dumlao.

For me, I'm still not in the place where I want to be. But at least I'm taking action to achieved my dream and maximized my God-given skills and talents.